Things that make you feel beat down.

Who here feels beat down?

I feel beat down!


Ok, well what makes me feel beatdown often is when I'm in class and students ask me questions about the new chapter we're covering (which by the way is new to me too and well I only know what is covered in the book) and then they ask me a question, and not even a super hard question, (though that fact makes it a bit harder to bear) and I don't know the answer. I'm the kind of Prof. who admits when I don't know the answer, I will give them my best educated estimation, however, I tell them that is what it is. I will say, "you know, I'm not certain, but this is what I think the answer could be..." or "Honestly I don't know" or "I'll have to check up on that". But not matter how I spin it, I basically am saying, "I don't know" and while thats an ok thing, it....well.... makes me feel like I haven't done my job. I'm standing up in front of these people trying to be the expert on whatever it is I'm teaching them and while I realize I CAN NOT be the be all end all expert on EVERYTHING in biology, it still bruises the old ego, when you have to say, "I'm not sure, I'll have to look that up" or "I haven't read anything on that". Then the kicker is when you realize another student does know the answer, and while I know, I still probably know more than them about biology, at that moment in time, I feel like a schmuck. Like all the students are looking at me and saying to themselves "Aren't you supposed to know everything about this topic? YOU ARE A FAKE!" I try to remember that everyone who walks into my class can contribute knowledge. Well I don't have to try I know it, there are students who know more than I do on several topics, though I always remind myself, I know more about biology otherwise they wouldn't be in my class (I'm the one with the masters in biology). I want my class to be a place where if one person knows the answer they can freely offer that info and we can all learn from one another, including myself. I don't even for a second think that I know everything. HAH! Not even slightly sort of close, but I feel like when I walk into class I should know everything there is to know about that topic, only then would I feel completely comfortable. But that will never happen, so me and my ego will just have to get a little tougher, a little more thick skinned, and I have to accept myself and my less than perfect amount of knowledge.


Me - "I just feel like there are some people here who think I can't even bake a pie"

Ned - "Hell, bake a pie, you can do science!"


Thanks Ned, I needed that. :)