swimmy feeling not so good....

A quick, quick note. I'm feeling swimmy in my head and all jello legged..... I went to Yoga today after having returned to yoga yesterday after a week long absence. talk about sore. Also evidently I haven't eaten enough today or, something cause I feel all hypoglycemic like. I've eaten already but still feeling kinda swimmy. I should be heading to class, damn. I'll write more later. I have several topics I'd like to get to. but for now I much teach people about how to kill germs. :)

A short note on "ugly people"

"ugly people in this case has nothing to do with looks. It's on the inside. some people are just ugly inside out. and they make other people feel ugly. Probably to make themselves feel a little prettier.

Ugh, I'm tired of dwelling on this. screw these ugly people, they suck. And my time is worth so much more than you.

ugly people suck.

-the fox, who is beautiful, I will not let other people make me feel ugly.

It's not like its offensive religious cartoons or anything

Before we go further, I have been informed by DH that I must make this statement, DH warned against typing or posting of last evenings blog. He also said to mention he wanted no part of my rant, nor contributed (directly) to the rant, and that he was a good sport last night, though disappointed with the loss. I can fully and truthfully attest to that last fact. DH was perfectly well behaved last night after the loss to UT, I seemed to be taking harder than he was though did not make a scene at the game, and decided to keep my comments to my own personal blog. So in other words, his a** is nice and clean, while evidently mine is not. What a way to support me sweetie. *sigh*


Oh lordy, the fallout has begun. In my heart of hearts I was afraid this would happen. Westexgirl, you know we will always be bonded in football by the fact that we will always root against the Red Raiders over ANYONE, and I mean I will root FOR UT in that situation. I will admit, I carried my rant far last night, though, I had also been traffically harangued yesterday at the mall due to a Vince Young "book signing". He *hasn't written a book*, he's signing a book about Texas Football that someone else wrote.

OH FINE, ALL RIGHT, I'M SORRY.

Ok there I said it, though I don't want to. I was never talking about you, or any of your family affiliated with UT. I'm sorry to you, my bestest friend, but I'm NOT sorry to the obnoxious fans who walk around with their chests puffed out feeling like they always ought to win. I know every school has their good side and bad side, I mean come on, I come FROM one! and I have to put up with sh** ALL the time. My own *family* makes fun of my school. My school has some of the most obnoxious fans, but I am not one of them, and as such don't take offense when someone rants about one of THEM. Thus my wonderful friend, you should realize YOU are not one of the people I was talking about last night, and you know it! For you, I was begrudgingly happy for UT, only because I know you love the burnt orange. but for no other reason. I know you wore Maroon, and I always appreciate that, and you know it, and I know you learned yet another goofy hand sign for the coogs game, and again, I'm really glad we shared in that moment, and you know, I was glad you had a great time beating Colorado on Dec. 1st, I was happy for you. And only because you LOVE the game of football and you LOVE the burnt orange was I even remotely ok with UT winning the Rose bowl. Did I not congratulate you? I even *hooked the horns* when my friends Allison and Kathleen (UT fans) left to watch the game. Allison would talk on and on and on about UT's superiority (hence the "could beat the Texans" comment) and I would just silently nod my head and let her revel in her schools talent and good luck. So I have swallowed my words and walked among the burnt orange and not doused their jubilation. In fact I seem to recall several times when I have *defended* their win in the Rose bowl,

DH - "The trojans outplayed them in that game"
Me - "evidently not, cause UT won"

DH - "I'm so tired of hearing about their Rose bowl win"
Me - "Oh let it go, let them have their fun. If it was our school we'd be doing the same thing"

Excuse me if I tire a bit from having to be level headed, I felt like being bitchy last night, and darn it, we almost freaking won, against Texas. that should give you some consolation. That evidently I think so highly of your teams ability that to beat the F***ing powerhouse that is Texas sports I would have been really, really happy. So perhaps while appearing to be a somewhat backhanded compliment, realize it is a compliment nonetheless.

Friend I am truly sorry if my words hurt you, know that I never intended that post for you, hence the word of warning. But sometimes I don't like UT, and for that I will not apologize.

OH LORDY, WAIT A MINUTE!! What the hell is going on here? Augh, the evil blog monster has taken a hold of me!! It has carried me to the seedy underside of the the blog world and has tricked me into thinking that this is reality! This is just a post. *shakes head clear* Wow, that was like that time, I was going to the baptist church and expected them to like catholics.......


*phew* Sorry westtexgirl for the post last night, you know I was just ranting. It's just a game. You know I love you like a sister, and you know I would support your school when necessary. Like when they don't play my teams, which is only fair. The ferocity of my rant I believe was enhanced by my consuming a foot long "super star dog" which was pumped so full of nitrates and nitrites I think I was high.

-praying for grace, the fox. *wink*

Sports are likegoing back to a slightly abusive boyfriend

First a disclaimer:

To my dearest pal and friend westtexgirl: I apologize for the negativity of the following post, you know I mean no personal harm and I'm kinda PMS-y so take it with a grain of salt. ok like a whole shaker of salt. In fact don't even read this, I implore you, just don't read it.



Ok here goes.

I hate UT. I'm so f***ing tired of burnt orange, and I can't wait for the day when they aren't winning cause it will come, oh yes it will, every dynasty falls and every king cracks, and I will laugh a maniacal laugh that will echo throughout the campus in Austin and up the belltower and ring like the peal of the bells to every corner of the earth. Ok so thats a *little* dramatic.

I'm really upset because I just got home from the Rice/UT baseball game. The game was really great, it was a close game the whole way, but oh I wanted to win so bad. Somewhat for myself but moreso for my dh. His teams don't win much and it would be great if he could go home a winner, especially against his arch nemesis UT. And it looked like it was going to happen, we made a winning run in the 9th inning and we went into the bottom of the 9th only needing to strike out the UT team, which I knew would be difficult, they do have a good team afterall, but Rice has a great baseball team as well, they won the whole enchilada in 2002, not bad for a school of less than 5,000 students (freaky genius students I might add, I saw one tonight at the game with a physics book in hand). So anyway knowing that a game is never over till IT IS OVER. I didn't celebrate too soon, which some people were doing, and sure as sh** UT has one guy on base and the guy up to bat has two outs and knocks it out of the park. s** of a b****! I was dumbfounded and crestfallen!! my mouth slackjawed, while people covered in burnt orange from head to toe (you can't have too many rosebowl shirts you know, especially when you're a bandwagoner) jump up and down with their annoying "hook em" hand sign. AAAAAUUUUUGHH!! I'm soooo tired of you people!!!
And the reason I'm tired of you is not necessarily because you win all the time, but because you EXPECT to win ALL THE TIME. You know humility goes a long, long way. Saying that your COLLEGE TEAM could kick a PROFESSIONAL TEAM'S (Texans) a**, is a bit haughty if you ask me. I'm sorry but, I will *laugh* the first time Vince Young gets sacked by a ginormous linebacker whose whole reason for being is to knock the sh** out of quarterbacks. He doesn't seem to realize he's not pro yet and as Andre Johnson said, "when you get out on that field, you have to prove yourself all over again." I give Vince Young all the credit in the world for winning the Rose Bowl, hell, he did it almost all by himself didn't he? And I hold no personal animosity toward him whatsoever, I don't know him and he seems to be a great guy and I think he definitely has his heart in the right place and he loves his mother, which well, says everything. but augh, please everyone else can we move on from the UT, gush/love fest.

Am I feeling sore from losing? Yes of course, I'm licking my wounds, and you know what, I'm not going to apologize for my whiny, sore loser blog. It is MY blog after all and I can write whatever I like, isn't that the whole point? So if you've read my blog, which I"m not certain why you would since you probably don't know its out here and I'm perfectly content with that, you can complain about it on your own blog, I don't want to hear it. This is my world, and well, here, I run the show. If you don't like it, the metaphorical "highway 6" runs both ways baby, both ways!

Gig 'em! Go Coogs! Hooty-hoo Rice owls! Ram 'em ASU! and finally SAW 'EM OFF!

-The "disgruntled" fox

The remedy for every ache and pain!

Well a true testament to the healing powers of laughter.

After the previous post, I decided I need to take immediate emergency action. I went to blog entitled "Go Fug Yourself"

These women have hearts of tar and tongues of gold!

Exactly what I needed. Thanks girls!

-the fox

Anxiety, anxiety!!!

Augh, I have so much stuff running through my head right now, I feel like its going to explode. About a billion things I'd like to talk about, yet the nagging feeling of things, I need to do, but don't want to do. Like the lab for tomorrow's class. Augh how I have come to despise that class. It's like an irritating tag that rubs on your neck and scratches and rubs and you just can't reach it to cut it off! You almost forget about it, but then you remember. AUGH! I know I'm making far more out of this than I need to, but well, honestly, sometimes I feel like I just can't help it.

This morning I was wondering if maybe I shouldn't think of getting a job doing something regular, like you know an office kind of job. then I realize what a stupid thought that is cause what other job could pay me enough to take care of myself and allow me so much freedom and flexibility? None, no other job I tell you. Ok maybe there are others but I can't think of any. Anyway, I guess I just feel very introverted today. I'm not certain why I feel like that, but I do. but I feel kinda lonely too. Like nobody understands. And I know I have people who love me, very much in fact, and I love them too, very much in fact. But you know how sometimes you just kinda feel lonely?

When I get this way, I get very critical of myself, and I know it. sometimes I can stop it, other times I wallow like a pink little piglet in the soothing yet dirty mucky mud. and then flop right in it, with my little pink snout just poking out of the mess. *sigh* But then I snap out of the soothing idea of being a piglet sitting in mud to realize that I CAN'T wallow in my own feelings cause I have to do the laundry, and plan the groceries, and buy the groceries, and cook the groceries, and prepare labs for people who don't want to do them and who don't deserve my time or my patience. And try to put together a program for a speaker who is coming next week, and write a proposal for a class that I may or may not teach next fall. When hopefully I'll be pregnant and then I will have a sweet bundle of joy who I will want to spend all my time with and I won't be able to because I got roped into starting a damn wildlife club on campus that I knew from the very outset would suckup more time. I need a makeover, cause I look in the mirror, and I don't hate myself, its not that, but augh. I look like a frump. This will not do! I am 30 years old? when will it come together? How can my two sisters who have have babies int he last 6 months be back to their svelt pre baby bodies and I am STILL heavier than they were PREGNANT!!!!

I can't be this way any more. I don't know what my problem is but I am in a serious funk. I am one of the luckiest people I know, but yet, sometimes, I feel disconnected from myself. Like I'm watching myself in a movie, and everything is moving in fast motion around me and I'm just standing there.

Just standing there. Alone.

And I know I'm not alone, but sometimes I feel it. Then I wonder if I'm just complaining.

Sometimes I want it to be all about me, but then I'm selfish. I've often heard that the second year of marriage is the harder one. It is.

I love him, very very much. He is my friend, he is sweet, he loves me and holds me, and accepts me in every way, under any circumstance.

but he won't put away the g**d*** laundry.

As Dr. Phil would say the division of labor is not split up evenly. but oh lordy thats a whole nother blog in and of itself.

This entry is about me, and only me, and about how I feel. I feel kinda alone, though I feel better now, after this entry. I feel overwhelmed.

There's just so much. and I don't want to put another straw on the pile. Not so much as a matchstick.

-the fox. 10-4 good buddy.

Wow now I really have something to blog about

Ok, frustration abounds.

First, I must give a "shout out" of "props" to my "homegirls" westexgirl and Nee for the idea for the format of this blog. Now that credit has been handed to those who deserve it. The blog will commence, please stow your tray tables in the upright position. Thank you.

5 things I hate:

1. I hate it when I save something I was blogging as a "draft" and said draft cannot be recovered nomatter what virtual and metaphorical stone I turn over in my blog. Argh, the shining wit and sartorial comments you witness here are the result of spontaneous thought and cannot be recreated. *sigh*

2. I hate it when students look back at me like they are simply "suffering" through my class till they can make it to their next worthless, short attention span interrupting techonological gadget moment. I will be the first to shout the praises of technology, its incredible, its amazing this blog is a good example of the the new opportunities techonology offers people to communicate, express themselves, do business etc. However, techonolgoy coupled with the pathetic attempt of babyboomers and a few there after to soothe their obnoxous offspring with technological playthings has caused us to encourage the growth of beings who have miniscule attention spans, issues with obesity, an entitled attitude of "entertain me or shut up", and a lack of in born creativity. If you hate my class, get the f*** out.

3. I hate students when they complain about the present government, but haven't voted, or they feel like they can smart off about the govt. because they voted for president. Ooooh wow, come back to me when you can name your congress men and women and your local council members. And if I hear one more time, "I get my news from the Daily Show" I am going to go on a shooting spree*! It is a SATIRE!! If you knew what that meant you would understand its not the real news. John Stewart even says so!! Sweet mother of god, please stop vomiting others political beleifs as your own simply because its the cool channel to watch. I would be saying the exact same thing if they were watching FOX news channel. So don't label me a conservative, I love the Daily show and The Colbert report, but I can make the distinction between what they say and reality, and my own opinions.

Ok I've ranted on what I wanted to rant, the rest of this should be pretty quick.

4. I hate seeing dream house on sale and finding it on the internet and it costs $1,050,000.00 *sigh*

5. I hate teaching on days when I feel like this, cynical. I want to love going to my classes, so far, they don't seem to have any good personality. :( then again, it could be my mood.

Things I love:

1. I love my bed, its one reason why I married my husband*, it is the biggest and softest bed I've ever felt.

2. I love my job, no matter how much I b**** about it on this blog, its the best job I could ever have. I really do love teaching, just you know some days...... usually one of these days comes along and I'll be grumpy and then something great happens, like a student has the light bulb go off and I feel great.

3. I love when students interact well with me and each other in lab. It makes things sooo much better.

4. I love scrapbooking paper, the designs, the textures the colors. *sigh* I love to collect it. It's so hard to use it. :)

5. Lastly, I love my life, in general, my life is wonderful. I am infinitely blessed with good things and good people who love me, and I love them. I started this earlier in the day, and well now its about 4:30 and most of my day is over and its gorgeous outside, so things are better than this morning. :)

Ok, thats it for now.

-the fox, 10-4

Redfox Prints

Wow, evidently in a bloggy mood.

As I put on my makeup, I realize, I need a makeover. not necessarily the "What not to wear" ok kinda, but I need to do something with this hair and this clothes. I've been letting myself go, too many ponytails, and while my dh loves my hair like this (one of the reasons why I love him) I can't look like this everyday. Much like I phased out the "collegiate baseball cap" days, I must phase out the ponytail days. Or at least, keep them to a minimum. Something needs to be done. Dh will not like this, as it will lead to spending of money. But this transcends money.

-the fox, over and out.

Friendship "Diversity"

Ok so while the title of this entry may be oh so liberal and a touch politically correct, it's not meant to be so. So quit thinking that.

I've come to realize in my 30 years (ee-gads!) that I have ended up with few friends. Plenty of acquantances (sp?), but few friends, real, honest to God, true blue, friends. Not because I'm not a friendly person, I think you'll find that I'm pretty friendly, though some would say hard to get to know *eyebrow raise*. I know, I know how could that be, I'm so outgoing.... but nonetheless I have recognized the wall I put up whenever people get too close. *Flashback* "Why is she telling me all this?!" *end flashback*

Anyway, the friends I do have however are quite good, if goofy, or alarming. though not as alarming as my very bestest friends friends. Westtexgirl has some of the most screwed up friends I've ever met, though while good and hardworking people, whoo man, "dems is some hard lives". Though other friends of hers, for example Nee, are quite wonderful and I say with certainty, delightful! Nee you are hysterical! I've met you in person only once, but I feel like I've been friends with you for years.

Again I digress, The real reason for this post is that I have very recently made a new friend! I mean how many times have you said that since like the 4th grade? Not very many I'd bet. LB is another professor and I actually had a hand in hiring her, which now when I think about it cracks me up. She was certaintly the best candidate we interviewed so it was a well deserved hire. After that initial meeting I didn't see her much, but then we caught up at an office party and we both had our spouses there. It was wonderful to see how well the four of us got along and my brain said *woohoo! couple friends!* well, at that very moment I knew we had to be friends. Now I've learned something from westtexgirl about making friends. Sometimes you just have to pick them and well, stalk them till they become your friends. Especially if they are like me and wanting friends but acting like they don't want friends. Now you must tread very lightly with this friendship making technique lest you be slapped with a restraining order, cause then, well that just "strains" the budding friendship.

Ok just kidding, but I did learn from westtexgirl that I needed to come out of my shell and make a friend or else I'd still have only 2 friends on the planet.

So at the christmas party that year hipchick (I decided against LB, cause well thats boring and the abreviation for pounds, so you know...)
asked myself and DH and another cool couple we both new, to ditch the rest of the party and just hang out at her house! I was so excited, its really stupid to say, but I felt like I was invited by they cool kids to sit at their lunch table! We all had a great time and said we should do it again. Well seeing as we all have lives, we didn't. but the seed was planted.

about a 9 months later, I moved my office, to another building and a windowed office, *singing* "We're movin' on up, to the east side.... we finally got a piece of the pie" *end singing* Well hipchick was the one who told me about the office, we still had a very fragile acquantance type of relationship at the time, and I moved. Well since then we've found that we both like to scrapbook, and we both love to talk. We finally went to lunch and go see a movie, Brokeback Mountain. Well once you've shared a high fat, high carb meal and seen two men having sex on a widescreen together you are officially friends I would say.

So I've made a new friend, who knew a gay cowboy movie could do all that?

Ok just a joke, it was a good line. So anyway, I'm excited I've made a new friend, certainly not to replace any others. I can't imagine talking to anyone but westtexgirl on the phone every single day. (well except dh, but you know, we're married so I kind of have to) I think I am also on the verge of having another friend, but I think she is also much like me in that, she would like friends, but kind of has that wall thing going on. So evidently I need to stalk her too until she becomes my friend. (just a little jokey joke, ha ha.)

Ok enough rambling for now I will ramble more later. Be certain to watch for the next installment of my incredible wit.

Redfox, over and out.

Redfox, over and out.