A million different directions

This is more for my benefit than yours so if this post doesn't make any sense, well, I'm afraid it does to me, you are but an after thought. I apologize, I will try to find better programming for your entertainment next time.

I'm a mess. At least I feel like one. I think I look like one too. I've tried concentrating but its been really difficult. I've cleaned off my desk so my workspace isn't so cluttered, and I've sat down to read and try to make some notes for lecture, but my head is just full of thick, thick, dark molasses. words just aren't making it through the viscous liquid very easily.

I already know I'm physically tired, both from stress and being sleep deprived last night. Then I looked up at the mirror sitting next to my desk, oh sweet jesus. I LOOK like hell. No makeup, hair pulled back in a ponytail, t-shirt and jeans (not seeing any students today, simply hiding out in my office "working" trying to anyway). I look awful, I don't want to be like this anymore, I'm not complaining, more talking to myself. I want to be light, and free. Light like a feather. I don't even just mean weight, thought that would help, I mean in my head, in my heart. I feel heavy with stress. *sigh* It's about dh. this is the first time I feel like our marriage is really being tested. Not in a way that we would end up split up, that would never happen. It's not an option for either of us, and I don't want to be without him. Its more a situation, that has us both stressed, very very stressed, with few options. Sort of. anyway. this isn't helping much, though I think I'm a bit more awake, so, I should try to get my notes done.

*sigh*

-fox