I want to be an ostrich

I want to bury my head. Just do that whole thing like in the cartoons where the ostrich just throws its head over and instantly its head plops into a little hole in the ground. I don't want to see, I don't want to hear. I just want to pretend that everything is ok. Tra la la la la, nothing is wrong, I will live my life like usual. Except one day I will wake up and realize my house is empty and devoid of a child, then I will regret my ostrich like tendencies. We've put off the first round of IVF till a couple of weeks from now and the last 2 weeks have been great not having to think about it. Granted I have been incredibly stressed for other reasons, but at least it had nothing to do with my body being non functional. Oh and another bonus, I think I've had a whole month (or more!) of no one poking, prodding, threading or scanning any part of my body and most importantly, my reproductive parts. Thats nice. I like that. I much prefer not sitting in a chilly room, undressed from the waist down with nothing but a pathetic tissue paper square drape across my lap. *sigh*

Anyway, its been nice just being normal again, not "someone going through infertility treatment" although I am still that, but you know.

I was thinking about it the other day and I realized, I almost still don't believe it's happening to me. It's like I'm watching a movie. But then again thats how I've felt during alot of stuff in my life. It's not me, it must be someone else. That kind of thing doesn't happen to me. Well, honey -do, it is happening to me. Holy cow, it is really happening to me. *sigh*