Animosity and Guilt

Westtexgirl's recent entries have prompted me to make on of my own. Not necessarily on the topic of evaluations (though make no mistake, we agree on the stress inducing and esteem shattering nature of those awful "tools of evaluation") but on the topic of student animosity. I've had a curious thing happen this semester. I've improved my course I believe and I've increased the rigor of my course. Yes I have made it more difficult. I had had the sneaking suspicion that I was being labeled "the easy one" (in reference to my class of course), hell suspicion nothing. I had a student tell me that the reputation of my class had become that of the easier instructor. Well here's a secret about those in my chosen profession, no one and I mean NO ONE wants to gain the reputation of being "the easy one". That is the equivalent of saying, you are a doormat. It's almost like being branded stupid, probably because stupid people could pass your class, hence you must be stupid. Our classes are a reflection on us. Our reputations are in most part, the reputation of our classes. Students talk and they tell each other about classes. "Take X professor, he/she hands out review guides" "Don't even think about taking professor X, I hated her class and she was a biotch!" I'm afraid I'm getting the latter reputation. Ok well not really, I know not all my students (not even most) are saying that. Though in reference to the title of this post, I have been feeling a fair share of student animosity as of late. Students giving me evil glares and not talking to me. No I don't hang my esteem on my students feelings, but you know, for an approval junkie like me, its hard to see people disappointed or angry, specifically because of something they think I did. I say they think I did something to them because make no mistake I simply grade their papers, I don't "give" them grades, they "earn" grades. I know not all my students hate me or hate my teaching style etc. Nor do I think I'm too hard. I had a couple of people make 100% (or more) on the last exam I gave and several people made A's. So no I'm not changing anything, I'm very happy with how I've changed my class, it definitely kicks some butt and thats what its supposed to do. The purpose of my class is to challenge people to work hard, and LEARN something (shocking!). Though it just feels funny for someone who desperately wants to be liked, to do things that could inspire other people to give mean "go to hell" looks. I've always been shocked when I hear someone doesn't like me, it used to crush me, but now it just makes me wince. Anyway, I'm not trying to play the pity card here, or anything, just making the observation. Like I said I know not all my students hate me (not even most). In fact, just had a group of students invite me out to dinner after I turn in their grades. Oh and by the way, they are the smart ones. Funny how those students compliment me all the time on my class. ;) Guess I am doing something right after all.